Compassionate self talk pdf

These free self compassion exercises are reminders on how self care is very important especially during tough times and rebuilding ones resilience. Selfcompassionate letter practice greater good in action. Self compassion is defined as being kind and understanding to ones self in times of. I want to emphasize just how important it is to accept yourself when you dont meet your goals or expectations. We have all survived some very distressing times, and we can use those experiences to encourage us through current difficulties.

It will allow participants to assess how they currently practice self compassion and to begin thinking of ways they could become more self compassionate. This article offers five ways to help you overcome your inner critic by strengthening your self compassion and fostering a sense of self acceptance. Self criticism is a common problem, and not one to be overlooked. Julia armstrong, msw, rsw counselling services a division of health, counselling, and disability services queens university, kingston, ontario. We can say these encouraging words to ourselves, and be our own personal coach. I argue research and methods of measurement should not draw a clear distinction between self compassion and compassion for others. This is an exercise in feeling compassion towards yourself. Selfcompassion involves being aware of our own pain and suffering, and understanding that this is a hard, but normal human experience. Sure, you can learn to think more positively but that wont stop your mind from judging and. Changing your critical selftalk with self compassion. Jul 08, 2018 how we talk to ourselves affects everything. Carolyn szafran lscsw compassion fatigue training 11415 39th annual governors conference for the prevention of child abuse and neglect 1 compassion satisfactionfatigue self checklist reflective supervision as supervisors. People who have greater levels of self compassion tend to be more motivated, less lazy, and more successful over time.

Counteracting negative selftalk with supportive statements. We will be invited to focus on our self compassion as we seek to be compassionate in our relationships with clients, their families and our colleagues. Neff was the first person to measure and define self compassion and offers a number of meditations that can be used to improve your self compassion skills. It influences everything from how we feel about ourselves to the decisions we make.

As we have said previously, with self critical thinking, our internal self talk is highly negative, disparaging and berating. Daybyday, i am changing the way i talk to myself, dropping the harsh, critical tones and words favored by my ocd in exchange for self compassion. Self kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness neff, 2003a. Negative selftalk may seem like it becomes more intense when we first start noticing it. Although counselors routinely promote self care, many struggle to practice such wellness. Self compassion often doesnt come naturally it is a skill you need to learn, practice and consciously engage in. The difference between selfcompassion and self esteem mindful selfcompassion combines the skills of mindfulness and selfcompassion, providing a powerful tool for emotional resilience. As we have said previously, with selfcritical thinking, our internal selftalk is.

A prescription for well being find, read and cite all the. Walk the talk skill handout this handout may help people who are highly selfcritical benefit. Siegel, 2010, or self soothing techniques such as petting the dog, lovingkindness meditation, or compassionate self talk. Say something like i know youre worried about me and feel unsafe, but. What is the meaning of self compassion and self love. We cant magically train our minds to stop speaking to us that way. Hang in there and you will start to see your world change. Nov 11, 2019 you can even pair this positive self talk with loving physical gestures, like stroking your arm or giving yourself a hug. Self compassion may be considered the heart of mindfulness from a research perspective, as well. The next day, lead a communitybuilding circle to talk about what staff heard in the stories and what it meant to them.

Luckily, the problem of the harsh self critic is fixable. This exercise should be done over several weeks and. Selfcompassion expert kristin neff offers tips for making friends with yourself. Homeworks and handouts for clients act with compassion.

The sense of self compassion unfurled fully as i mentally whispered, its all right, sweetheart, and offered care to the depths of my vulnerability just as i would to a dear friend. How self compassion can help prevent teacher burnout. Compassion is a balancing act something that must actively practiced in order to thrive. How to cultivate more selfcompassion psychology today. Spend that time jotting down how you would talk to yourself if you were treating yourself in a kind and understanding way. There should be a crossover between these two concepts as the research suggests.

For example, the multicomponent definition of self compassion which includes mindfulness but also kindness and a. Injoy, jane xx you can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. Below are homeworks for fostering greater self compassion in people who are experiencing shame and self criticism. Paul gilbert and kristen neff are two leading figures in the area of building self compassion to improve mental health and wellbeing, and these modules draw heavily on their expertise and writing. Selfcompassion selfhelp resources information sheets. Jun 11, 2014 compassionate self talk is more than putting a positive spin on negative events or painting ourselves with an allglowing brush. The effects of motivational selftalk on competitive. Selfcompassion entails being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly selfcritical. So far we have been setting the scene for self compassion. We can practise noticing when we do that, and start to use compassionate or kind mind. For more on self compassion and to download the scale, go.

Make an active effort to soften the self critical voice, but do so with compassion rather than self judgment i. At first, you might only remember to pay attention and use the thought changing techniques once in a while. Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind handout compiled by teresa kleffner, msw, lcsw. One powerful exercise to encourage selfcompassion is to take a situation in which you feel caught and try to visualize a friend in the exact same situation.

Rather, self compassion provides several access points for reducing self criticism. Notice how you speak to yourself throughout the day. Evidence from a compassionate self talk protocol and heart rate variability. Counselors are routinely exposed to painful situations and overwhelming emotions that can, over time, result in burnout. Over the next few minutes, the self compassion widened into a vast sense of tender presence. Directing feelings of kindness and care towards ourselves, and focusing our attention and energy on how we might alleviate our pain, are also crucial components of selfcompassion. Nicely designed pdfs with writable fields to add your reflections, answers.

You will develop a self compassion action plan and maintenance plan, to help keep you on track with all the new self compassion skills you have learned. Say something like i know youre worried about me and feel unsafe, but you are causing me unnecessary pain. How selfcompassion can help prevent teacher burnout. Pdf within american psychology, there has been a recent surge of interest in.

Dr paul gilbert shares his immense knowledge of being more compassionate with ourselves and others. Results indicated that motivational self talk was effective in reducing the frequency of disturbing thoughts and anxiety levels, as well as, in increasing self. Investigating the influence and a potential mechanism of self compassion on experimental pain. This short, free, 26item quiz could be a great start, followed by these self guided selfcompassion exercises. Now think about times when you feel bad about yourself or are struggling.

Changing your critical self talk this exercise should be done over several weeks, and will eventually form the blueprint for changing how you relate to yourself longterm. Nicely designed pdf s with writable fields to add your reflections, answers and journal entries. Ive written out some general guidelines on the use of homework with highly self critical and shame prone people. Self compassion break think of a situation in your life that is difficult, that is causing you stress. To help people address feelings of insecurity and unworthiness, i like to share a meditation i call the rain of selfcompassion. We can practise noticing when we do that, and start to use compassionate mind. After setting up our tent, we sat by a stream, watching the water swirl around rocks, talking about our lives. An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Participants in an eightweek mindful self compassion msc program, which included practicing the self compassionate letter, among other exercises, reported feeling greater self compassion at the end of the program than they had at the beginning. This talk explores three key features of the trance of unworthiness and introduces a guided meditation based on a new version of the acronym rain that awakens self compassion and deconditions the suffering of being at war with ourselves. Selfcompassion and mindfulness centre for mindfulness studies.

Ask the critical voice to allow your compassionate self to speak for a few moments. Participants in an eightweek mindful self compassion msc program, which included practicing the selfcompassionate letter, among other exercises, reported feeling greater self compassion at the end of the program than they had at the beginning. Compassion focused therapy cft worksheets psychology tools. Compassionate self talk we all have internal dialogue in our heads, it is very often self critical and we judge ourselves far harsher than the way we judge other people. This exercise should be done over several weeks and will eventually form the blueprint for changing. For more about emotional wellbeing, visit takingcharge. Kristin neff discusses how selfcompassion differs from self esteem, why selfcompassion can be hard for americans, and the transformative effect it had on her. Compassion focused therapy with dr paul gilbert youtube. Self compassion, a construct from buddhist thought, consists of self kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness, and is characterized by gentleness with oneself when faced with a perceived sense of inadequacy or failure neff, 2003. Self compassion is a positive attitude we can have towards ourselves, and its also an empirically measurable construct. However you do it, engaging in this kind of positive self talk will help you to start being more kind to yourself, which will eventually lead to genuine feelings of warmth and love for yourself. We are much more understanding and compassionate with someone else, particularly someone we care about. I was no longer caught in a sense of self aversion or in being.

Negative self talk can sabotage and undermine our efforts in any part. Operationally defined and introduced to the positive psychology literature by associate professor dr. Skills training manual for treating borderline personality disorder. This article distinguishes between mindfulness and mindful self compassion, and how the practice of mindfulness can support your self compassion journey. A definition self compassion and self love are two related, but distinct, concepts. For example, being kind and understanding when confronting personal. If youve ever tried, you know what im talking about. Its considered that selfcompassion and self acceptance are essential ingredients to living a fulfilling life, more so than high self esteem. Maybe the following 20 quotes to inspire selfcompassion can support you in that process. Neff suggests having forums where teachers can talk with each other and realize that everyone beats themselves up and feels theyre a failure sometimes. Ive written out some general guidelines on the use of homework with highly self critical and shame prone people building awareness of self criticism as thinking. Research indicates that self compassionate individuals experience greater psychological health than those who lack self. Compassion resilience toolkit for health and human.

Free self compassion exercises mindfulness exercises. Self compassion can be defined as being kind and understanding when confronted with personal failings neff, n. Compassion focused therapy cft is a form of psychotherapy developed by paul gilbert for people struggling with shame and self criticism. These free self compassion exercises are reminders on how selfcare is very. The rain of selfcompassion when i was in college, i went off to the mountains for a weekend of hiking with an older, wiser friend of twentytwo. Positive self talk coping thoughts worksheet positive statements encourage us and help us cope through distressing times. View the slides in the mode that allows you to read the notes for. For a more complete view of your own self talk patterns it can be useful to begin with a selfcompassion assessment, which provides a snapshot of how compassionate to yourself you currently are. The acronym rain is an easytoremember tool for practicing mindfulness and compassion using the following four steps. Just as i am the practice of self care and compassion a guided journal to free yourself from self criticism and feelings of low self worth developed by. Walk the talk skill handout this handout may help people who are highly self critical benefit. Could you let my inner compassionate self say a few words now. At one point she described how she was learning to be her own best friend. Not only do i feel better, but the more self compassionate i am, the stronger my recovery from ocd will be.

Below are homeworks for fostering greater selfcompassion in people who are. The effects of motivational selftalk on competitive anxiety. Using the practice of selfkindness to cope with stress. Kristen neff also reported over a decade ago that those highly self compassionate are kind to others and themselves in a similar manner. Using self kindness to cope with stress in all the greatest spiritual traditions, at their heart is tenderness, just to be kind inside, and then everything rights itself. Learn to foster altruism and compassion in your communities with these quiet, yet powerful talks. The roots of self compassion stem from our earliest. For instance, she also offers several self compassion exercises you can engage in including affectionate breathing and lovingkindness meditation. Kristin neff, it is comprised of three separate constructs. Compassionate self talk puts us in a neutral mindset and feeling state that invites. So one essential aspect of selfcompassion is learning how to take the power out of all that harsh selftalk. Purpose the purpose of this activity is to introduce the concept of selfcompassion.

Pdf on feb 1, 2011, lucia thornton and others published selfcompassion. This short, free, 26item quiz could be a great start, followed by these self guided self compassion exercises. A randomized controlled trial demonstrated that msc significantly increased selfcompassion, compassion for others, mindfulness, and life. For a more complete view of your own self talk patterns it can be useful to begin with a self compassion assessment, which provides a snapshot of how compassionate to yourself you currently are. Self compassion is different from self pity, a state of mind or emotional response of a person believing to be a victim and lacking the confidence and competence to cope with an adverse situation. Self esteem versus selfcompassion handout by jenna lejeune 5sc on july 07, 2016 if you read our recent post about the top 20 sciencebased recommendations for working with highly self critical and shameprone clients, you already know that the pursuit of high self. Self compassion is more than the absence of self judgment, although a defining feature of self compassion is the lack of self judgment, and self judgment overlaps with self criticism. Through your attention retraining exercises you should now be more aware when you are going through a difficult experience and are in need of some compassion, and ideally you can now mentally step back. This exercise can be used any time of day or night and will help you remember to evoke the three aspects of selfcompassion in the moment you need it most. Self compassion as an intervention adams and leary 2007 used self compassion to address guilt and shame in college women with restrictive andor guilty eating used general self compassion exercises, such as using a self compassionate mantra found that participants who received the self compassion condition had reduced self. Changing your critical self talk with self compassion.

Self compassion entails being kind and understanding toward oneself in instances of pain or failure rather than being harshly self critical. This exercise will help make self kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness part of your daily life. Oct 16, 2014 the worlds leading researcher of self compassion and founder of the mindful self compassion program explains the core features of self compassion. Compassionate self talk is more than putting a positive spin on negative events or painting ourselves with an allglowing brush. Their self compassion at the end of the eight weeks was also greater than that of a comparison. Pdf investigating the influence and a potential mechanism. This final module draws together everything you have covered in the previous modules, to help you live a compassionate life over the long term. The fact is that everyone you work with, no matter how selfassured they seem, experiences selfdoubt.

Therefore, when we talk about self compassion, we are specifying that this attitude is being directed internally towards ourselves. Her tedx talk is a great introduction to her research and findings on the topic of self compassion. Use compassionate self talk we all have internal dialogue in our heads, it is very often self critical and we judge ourselves far harsher than the way we judge other people. Results suggested that even a short training on motivational selftalk strategy could be beneficial not only for engaging athletes. Once you are in this more helpful gear, start to question the way you are thinking and see if you cant bring a more compassionate perspective to. Selfcompassion exercise the berkeley wellbeing institute.